Your own stupid mechanical mistakes...

[davelowe]

Right, I'll start with an easy one.

Removed bumper to change coolant (bit tricky to get to the radiator bottom hose clip otherwise). Carefully removed the trim under the bonnet, unbolted the bumper, removed torx screws and wheel arch plastic bits. Donned kid gloves to handle bumper and placed it on a soft surface. Did the coolant job with no problems. Fired up the engine - no airlocks - all good. Topped up coolant and repeated. Very pleased that I didn't break any hidden plastic when taking off the bumper. Even remembered to disconnect the fog lamps. Paid careful attention at all times.

Put it all back together and gave it a nice shine up and self congratulatory pat on the back.

Got so absorbed in the whole checking coolant level, type / dilution, hoses, leaks bit, that it was only when I had a quiet ciggy that I realised I hadn't reconnected the fog lamps. B******s.

Off with the wheel arch cover / my head. Arse.

[nickbell69]

I sense this is going to be a good topic
My worst one happened last year, i put the jack in the wrong place and it went straight through the sill
Kicked myself hard for that stupid error.

Not a mechanical one this but in recent snow we've had i live in a cul de sac of 5 houses. I was out with a neighbour shovelling our drives, he went into the garden of another neighbour and took his professional looking snow shovel(so much easier with one of those).
Anyway he cleared the bottom of his drive then reversed his car to do the top of it. Except he reversed straight over his neighbours snow shovel
Oh my god how i laughed It was one of those laughs that happens every few years where you end up crying.
Neighbour was fine about it and he got a new one which we all still use(carefully though).

[davelowe]

Nice one Nick!

I was hoping for more contributions (come on - someone must have ballsed up sometime!), but to keep the thread alive and in the spirit of amusing ones, here's another.

Years ago I was working in an office in a converted mill down a very narrow lane cul-de-sac.
At the end of the lane there was an old genteel chap driving some vintage car - you know the sort - cloth cap, fat grandma style wife (probably with a bad hip) in the passenger seat - only takes it out at the weekend - all polished chrome bumpers, 50 year no claims bonus, etc, not hard to picture the scene.

Anyhow, found myself in one of those head to head positions. He'd obviously realised he'd taken a wrong turn and was attempting a 3 pointer on the lane (not much wider than a car). So in the spirit of trying to help, I get out to give some directions. As does a pedestrian.

Now this driver chap is having none of it - pride I expect (plus he's a bit deaf too) "I can still drive you know", so I sit on a nearby wall to watch (and wait - think I was on the sandwich run at the time). After some 5 minutes of inching back and forth, he finally decides to mount the kerb to get a better turning angle. This is where things went a bit wrong - high curb with a slight drop to the other side. So, over goes a rear wheel and a slight crunching sound. From my vantage point I can see he has damaged the exhaust pipe as the rear section was pointed down at the front end. I sprint over to point this out to him, suggesting I nip back to the office and grab a large knife to cut the rubber pipe holder off thinking he can stash it in the boot and see if he can get it fixed. He wouldn't have it. He couldn't bend down to look at the problem. So, off he drives, front end of the pipe digs into the road, jams against the bumper and slowly lifts the back of the car up until - crunch - bumper comes clean off.

I walked to the sandwich shop crying with laughter. Bless the old chap.

[ulrich100]

I think we have all done this.

I even had the notion that the bulbs must have gone before i realised my mistake.

Its the cringe and self kick in the arse.

Ill not make the mistake again.

[onlydiesels]

about 16 yrs ago,a pal of mine had a bmw 323i which needed fr brake pads and being a bit impatient and not being able to wait about 2hrs for me to do it for him,he decided to have a go himself,so...................car up on stands....so far so good,....stripped one side,cleaned everything up,...............went round to the other side,stripped that too,cleaned everything up..........(and he was doing so well).....fitted new pads to that side........then got in the car and proceeded to pump the pedal up until he heard a tinkle of metal hitting tarmac...and then looked on the floor and realised he`d only put pads in one side and the tinkle he heard was the caliper piston hitting the floor. laugh??? i could hardly stand up.

now i can`t remember which came first but..........same pal,same car was doing the cambelt but whilst turning the engine over with a spanner to line things up before strip down,...turned it via the cam pulley......THE WRONG WAY... which caused the belt to slip so that cam/crank were misaligned,put the new belt on `as is`,built everything back up took it for a spin (about mach 2) but later complained that `the car feels a bit short on power`so the day after i went to have a look and agreed that it did`nt sound too well and i later discovered that he`d put a cambelt on it, yes it took him over 24hrs to tell me ,and upon checking i discovered that the alignment was out,to which he admitted `yes it actually locked up when i spannered it over with the new belt on,so i just turned it back the other way a bit` ...

eurocarparts relieved him of a few quid for head gasket kit +a couple of shiny new valves

but we`re still best pals and laugh about it now

[Bumpy macaroon]

Not a major one just annoying, took rear wheel off following puncture, stood wheel upright let go as its was standing then watched as it fellover, span like a coin scraping the alloy .....

Now some from my workmates,

Ford focus left standing for 4 months, car started but would not pull off, tried pushing and found rear wheel had siezed, called me to connect it to another car to tow in attempt to free up wheel, off we went im towing all feels fine, looked in rear view mirror to see smoke coming from rear of the focus. Wheel had not freed up and managed to wear a huge flat spot.

Blinged up chav honda, now this lad decided to fit a remote start system but could not be bothered to wire it correctly to only start in neutral, stood in front of it, hit start and had his foot run over as it leapt forward, would of let him off one mistake but he then did again .......

Hyundai Getz (well thats a mistake in itself) lad buys a notepad computer and decides to connect it into his car hi-fi as an MP3 and video player. Pointed out it would be illegal to have a display viewable to the driver when in motion but he decided to carry on, Glued velcro strips to top of dashboard for the computer to sit on it, then glued velcro to base of computer, put computer in place and opened the screen only to hit the windscreen meaning that it was not viewable to anyone (at least it was not illegal) This fact was picked up by all before he started but being good mates we decided to stay quiet, still laughing now.

Incidently the last one fitted same Getz with Max power induction kit , removed the Getz badge from the back with a paint scraper, scraping the paint in the process and then went on to superglue the badge to outside of his windscreen over the place where the rear view mirror is stuck to ' to cover that black bit and well its a shame to throw it away' Week later he comes into work not HP, someone ripped off the badge, stamped on it and left it on his bonnet

[davelowe]

Keep em coming!

[davelowe]

This one happened a few weeks ago.

Live next to a school. Sat working in the office when I hear a loud smash outside. Grab mobile, run out to count bodies. Spot a very old mini (1969) in middle of single carriage road at an odd angle. 4 six form students climb out. Car would seem to have been under some degree of 'restoration' (no carpets, dashboard, body held together with rivets / screws / bolts, jack on back seat, etc). Everyone fine. 3 students walk back to next class leaving me and a rather shaken driver. Quick glance at the car reveals it is now a three wheeler. Sit driver down with a brew while I go to have a look. Front nearside wheel found in hedge about 30 metres behind car. Lovely 5mm track from point of departure in tarmac made by brake disc. Had a look under car, two of four wheel studs sheared off. Brake as hot as hell, but no other damage (I was amazed). Fetched 4 way wheel brace and trolley jack. Removed a bolt from each of rear wheels (one was finger tight). Jacked up car, put wheel back on. Told him to drive it at walking pace to the local garage (1/4 mile) to get studs extracted and replaced and gave very stern lecture about using flat headed steel bolts on tapered alloy wheels.

Turns out he had the car MOTed 1 week ago and had passed his test the day before. On the plus side, he had the same A level maths tutor as me (some 16 years earlier). She wrote a nice letter to me a few days later. Driver's comment 'What the f*ck is my dad going to say?'

[ulrich100]

This one happened a few weeks ago.

Live next to a school. Sat working in the office when I hear a loud smash outside. Grab mobile, run out to count bodies. Spot a very old mini (1969) in middle of single carriage road at an odd angle. 4 six form students climb out. Car would seem to have been under some degree of 'restoration' (no carpets, dashboard, body held together with rivets / screws / bolts, jack on back seat, etc). Everyone fine. 3 students walk back to next class leaving me and a rather shaken driver. Quick glance at the car reveals it is now a three wheeler. Sit driver down with a brew while I go to have a look. Front nearside wheel found in hedge about 30 metres behind car. Lovely 5mm track from point of departure in tarmac made by brake disc. Had a look under car, two of four wheel studs sheared off. Brake as hot as hell, but no other damage (I was amazed). Fetched 4 way wheel brace and trolley jack. Removed a bolt from each of rear wheels (one was finger tight). Jacked up car, put wheel back on. Told him to drive it at walking pace to the local garage (1/4 mile) to get studs extracted and replaced and gave very stern lecture about using flat headed steel bolts on tapered alloy wheels.

Turns out he had the car MOTed 1 week ago and had passed his test the day before. On the plus side, he had the same A level maths tutor as me (some 16 years earlier). She wrote a nice letter to me a few days later. Driver's comment 'What the f*ck is my dad going to say?'

Very good very good, That certainly was your good deed for the day.

[barneybear]

I once - and only once - did a minor service on our very first car -Ford Fiesta. Took an hour to get sump plug out, and hour to get oil filter off. Plus screw driver embedded in hand. Just about to fill up with new oil when wife (of 6 months) said you have put the plug back? - Of course I have! (not - but did when she wasn't looking 5 mins later!).

Anyway - Never did a service again. Do any of you know where I can see the engine number of a 1.9DCi - 2007? DVLA have a problem with my log book. Chassis number matches - I've had t car from new - but for some reason the engine number wasn't recorded. I can't see it? Where should I look?